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Have you ever been to a concert that really sucked? Sure you have, not all bands perform well or sometimes just have a bad day like yourself. In my experience this seldom happens since the artist on stage just knows he or she has to give their utmost to you, music lover, fan and eager audience. And heck, you paid for it.
Full anticipation I went to the Casa De Carne Catastrophe concert of Meat Loaf in the Heineken Music Hall. And guess what? It was the worst concert ever in musical history.

The concert was not sold out but the crowd was lively and everybody was happily waiting for the start of the show. Yup, it started good with loud drumming and light effects and entrez The Band. And the man of the hour himself Meat Loaf all dressed in black. The band kicked off and Meat and his 2 Meatlettes started singing. And I first thought the concert hall sound wasn’t mixed yet, the mixer still tuning. So the first song ended and I was still clueless to what I had heard. Then the second song began and I couldn’t believe it: it wasn’t bad sound (couldn’t be, the HMH is just a great venue) it was Meat Loaf himself, singing off key.
Still couldn’t believe it.
Third song: OMG getting worse, him singing his own words in his own tune but usually one step behind the actual note. And way behind his background singers and stalling the band; they had to really listen to him and slow down to pick up what he was doing, can’t call it singing anymore. I was flabbergasted. Here he was, my high school hero, and he had just forgotten to take his voice with him to Amsterdam.

When the fourth song started, I just wanted to leave. It was too embarrassing. Already people were starting the booos, and I couldn’t agree more. But hey, I had paid 50 euro per ticket and he might improve and get better. So Alwin and I stayed.
It was the beginning of a 2 hour show which was really so toe curling bad, it gave me stomach aches. His singing was so mind blowing off key it was almost a parody to a real Meat Loaf show. He grunted, mumbled, stumbled on stage and during his entire show has not blurted out one note in tune. He just stood there half collapsed on stage, struggling for words (in time) in sync (nope) and at the correct note (sorry).

At one point, Meat Loaf shouted to the crowd that he plays with the best rock band in the world. Hell yes, they are. The band and backing singers sounded great, every solo and instrumental break sounded amazing. Meat Loaf should be very grateful to them that they are the professionals and stayed with him on stage. They saved his ass, especially Patti Russo the female lead vocalist. She really encouraged him to sing in sync and tune and kept up the spirit. And if he failed again and again, she just took over and sang the lead.
The band saved the worst singer ever; it was like watching a bad karaoke night in your local pub with the worst drunk hanging on to the mike for dear life.

The most embarrassing moment was Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Everybody was waiting for this song. But alas: not one note in tune, his voice faltering and failing. And when I looked around me the complete audience stood stock still, frozen to the floor in I think shame of this dreadful performance. Even the first rows were not clapping, singing or cheering. It was bizar.

When we left we saw fans almost crying in the lobby, talking in low voices about this freak show. At home we just had to sit for a while with a drink and recover from this shameful performance.
One of the songs last night was Life is a Lemon & I want My Money Back. Was it irony he shouted this to us? Hell yeah, I Want My Money Back! And my memory of all Bat Out Of Hell CDs, they are for ever contaminated with this show. I can never listen to any of Meat Loaf’s songs anymore without getting a bitter taste in my mouth.
This man should never ever sing live again. Stick to the studio albums and live on the royalties of Paradise by the Dashboard Light but keep other fans’ memories intact and don’t ever climb up a stage again.